Nothing quite captures the essence of what’s wrong with modern romance than Valentine’s Day. Men emasculate themselves, while encouraging and enabling a sense of female entitlement, with the purchase of overpriced cards, flowers, dinners and other assorted trinkets. By the same token women often find themselves measuring their own worth, as they do with engagement rings, by comparing the dollar value of their haul with their friends and colleagues. It is a day which, roughly four decades after women’s liberation and feminism emerged, should be boycotted by all self respecting men who truly believe in women’s equality and who don’t need to beg for sex. More important, women who value both their own self esteem and the concept of unsolicited affection and romance, need to give this sordid hallmark moment a big miss.
It may come as a surprise to many women, and some men for that matter, that men don’t buy gifts on VD (an appropriate acronym) because they want to, rather they do it because (perhaps mistakenly) they believe women expect it. And nothing takes away the pleasure of doing something for another person, and says “forced romance” more than thinking generosity is expected. Media personality and author Marc Rudov conducted an informal poll a few years ago where he asked men and women “If you will buy your mate a Valentine’s Day gift, is it out of pure desire or a feeling of obligation? Men felt obligated over desirous by a factor of 2 and women felt desirous over obligated by a factor of nearly 4 times. Rudov’s conclusion was that men dread Valentine’s Day while women love it because as he wrote, “It’s simple: men are obligated and women are not... It’s a luxurious pleasure for a woman to give when there is no pressure for her to give, when there is no expectation for her to give.
Rudov calls chivalry “benevolent sexism” or “BS” for short and calls it phony romance. Speaking of BS, there have been lots of books written lately lamenting the shortage of good men with tips on how to find and keep the good ones. How ironic is it that men are in short supply and yet BS is expected from men instead of women? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? The pricing of commodities is dictated by the law of supply and demand, meaning that if a commodity is in short supply (healthy men with no addictions, straight white teeth, who walk upright) the price goes up. Vancouver is laughable when you consider that women still behave as if they are offering a scarce commodity when in fact, the opposite is true. Valentine’s Day is the epitome of legal prostitution and the stupidity of it is that there is no reason for it.
Notwithstanding the above, there are lots of women who don’t like VD. In fact, February 14th is really a miserable day for both genders, single or attached. If you want proof, go to any restaurant on that evening and check out the uncomfortable tie-wearing, crestfallen, suited up guys looking like beaten dogs. It is a safe assumption they would sooner be anywhere else but that table. By the same token watch for small groups of women out together. They are miserable, because they have not been invited on a date yet they feel duty bound to go out anyway. By the way boys, I am sure it does not need to be mentioned that women, out with their girlfriends on Valentine’s Day, make the easiest marks. Why? Because it is the moment in time when their self esteem is ebbing at an all time low. As radio personality Tom Leykis has suggested, surely as a man if you possess a pulse, you will get them to do unspeakable things they will inevitably regret afterward. Very good indeed.
Nobody is better off for Valentine’s Day other than the retailers. Do yourselves a favour and get lost on Valentine’s Day.
This blog is copyright Ian Tootill 2009 to 2013. All rights reserved. No unauthorized reproduction in whole or in part without permission.
